Recently, my family having a big problem.... My mum want to leave us... And she did leave us but come back afterward. From the moment she leave, i feel sad... really sad and apin in the heart.. I was holding my tears in my eyes to avoid its leak out... But when I stay in my room, i cannot control myself and start crying like hell.. I was calling my girlfriend that time and she was shocked when i cry so badly... It feel absolutely pain and hurt in my soul.
Luckily my girlfriend keep comfort me and try make me stop crying... Yes i did stop crying but yet I still feel so bad because i have my girlfriend so worry about me. I cannot describe how well is her and the way she treat me. I can say she could be the one of the best girlfriend in my life. She love me so much and wanna come see me to check whether I'm okay. After 2 day outing with her, I feel safe and comfortable beside her... She give me a hug and kiss which is totally give me a lot happiness and safetyness beside her.... =)
Until to day, she tell me something really i care so much. She say " No matter what happen in the future, when she leave me, it doesn't mean she don't love me"... This sentence have give me a lot impact and the pain and hurt have comeback once again. I know she don't want to disobey her mother or family that she must have a christian boyfriend. For me, I will totally respect about that and as i always tell her... Listen to your mother is the first priority because she is your mother. When i listen this sentence, I feel like one day she may leave me because of certain reason. But i won't blame her because she really deserve better... She deserve someone who is Christian, loyal to her, mature, can make her laugh whole day, rich and a lot advantages... She is very nice, charming, cute and loyal to friend and her family.
If one day, there is one guy which is a dream guy that she dream whole time, her family will support about that... I'm sure I will back off and support her. There is nothing i can do.. As long she is happy, I can sacrifice my love to her.. There is something i learn whole time... " When you love somebody, you don't need to owe her but let other people that can give more happiness to her to owe her"... I understand this sentence very well and when it happen, i definitely will do it even though i have go through all this pain and hurt but its worth if somebody can treat her well and have better background than me. I didn't act like I'm hero or god o what, I just hope that she can get the best and the one who is deserve to owe her.
Dear, i love you so much and i hope u will do the same thing to me... But if i can exchange my loneliness against your happiness... I will take loneliness as u deserve happiness... I don't mind to fail again as I can get through it.. So dear please take care yourself well and be happy everyday, i cannot give you anything as I'm not capable of doing anything anymore. I love you and god bless you <3
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