对不起

Dear... 我希望你在看这片文章的时侯。。能知道我的心意。。

Dear... 我觉得今天很对不起你哦。。 可是我很想对你说很多东西。。但是我又说不出口。。所以想在此地跟你说。。如果觉得没有诚意的话，你可以不理的。。。=）

Dear, 老婆，女朋友。。。  这些都是时常叫你的名称。。Dear 和老婆都是我时常叫你的。。。 我觉得这种名称代表着我对你的尊敬，思念，和爱惜。。。当我觉得很想你的时侯，寂寞的时候，伤心的时侯，我对会想到你。。。 在我人生最低潮得时侯，你都会在我的身边。。。

今天我却做了让你伤心难过的事。。让你想哭的事。。。我觉得很对不起你。。本来想让你有个很快乐的一天。。开心的出门，开心的回家。。。 结果今天我办不到。。觉得有点失败。。 真的很抱歉。。我很想让你天天都是开心的。。快乐的。。。虽然有时会变态，说话给人玩玩的感觉，但是我是真的想让你开心，带着笑容迎接每一天。。。当你不牵着我的手的时候，我觉得很心痛。。因为给我的感觉就好像被你甩的感觉。。。很不好受。。那时会觉的你很想不要我了。。。

记得每一年的情人节，都是自己过的。。有几次在情人节前被人甩了。。所以我很想你陪我过情人节。。。就算只是一封简单的 SMS。。我也很满足了。。。就算只是那一次，我也会很开心。。。

Dear... 我很想天天都能与你在一起。。。不是通过SMS, 打电话，SKYPE, Webcam 还是其他的。。。 我是能见到你。。可以跟你面对面聊天。。可以抱着你，亲吻你。。跟你一起笑。。我没有觉得辛苦。。因为跟你在一起才是最美好的回忆。。没有一段感情是不用付出的。。难道要等到你跟别人跑了我才去找你吗？难道要等你伤心流泪才去找你吗？难道要等你离开我了才去找你吗？我不想一时的不要而变成一生的后悔。。。但是如果你不想的话我也不会逼你的。。 你开心就好。。=）

Dear... 我是真的很爱你的。。我不想失去你。。我也不想看着你伤心。。不管你以后对我怎样。。不管你以后变的怎样。。。我都会依然爱着你。。。依然会守护着你。。。我爱的是你的人，你的心。。我是人。。也有感情。。 也会跟别人一样会胡思乱想。。但也因为有你，我才有机会学到很多东西。。。 希望你明白我的心意。。明白我对这段感情的认真与尊敬。。。

老婆。。。 我爱你。。。我想你。。 不要离开我。。不要抛弃我。。不要放弃我。。 因为我爱你。。 我真的很爱你。。。 =）

When i think of you

Haha today is the first day of chinese new year.... Its mean another year have pass by again. Nevertheless, I have grown up again and old already. Hehehe 1 year have been pass so fast. Done alot thing and learn alot thing. This year, say truely, I don't really have the mood to celebrate it. Don't know why and dun ask me why. Maybe is because something bad is happen recently.

Today i have send my daddy go airport at 4 a.m... It is a cool and silent morning i could say. 1st time in my life, daddy didn't celebrate CNY with us but he already give us angpau before he leave. Haha i feel something bad and obviously, I'm not happy. This year is been the big different compare to last year. People eat tuan yan fan with one whole big family but we eat by our own. And no more eating tuan yuan fan with relative and my cousin. Last year our family have getting into the big trouble and i hope this year will better and improve.

Haha this year CNY, i could say i lazy to celebrate cause there is no more 1 big family. That's why i always try to remind my friends to appreciate everything they have. Hahaha no idea la... This year chinese new year is like a normal day to me... Sleep and eat and play... That's all i do whole day.

Next, my dear already go to kuching tis morning also.. Hehe feel bad cause didn't wish dao her happy safe journey. She having some sickness today and i hope she can recover soon to enjoy her CNY well. Dear, you must take care well ah... Eat bao bao ta lo... Fat also never mind geh... Haha and sure i very miss her la.. Always do de la.. So i listen this song so that when i think of her, she can know that. Wakaka miss my daddy also.

Lastly hope everyone can stay healthy and happy for the whole life....  Dear I love you very much XD

Lonely by Lonely

Recently, my family having a big problem.... My mum want to leave us... And she did leave us but come back afterward. From the moment she leave, i feel sad... really sad and apin in the heart.. I was holding my tears in my eyes to avoid its leak out... But when I stay in my room, i cannot control myself and start crying like hell.. I was calling my girlfriend that time and she was shocked when i cry so badly... It feel absolutely pain and hurt in my soul.

Luckily my girlfriend keep comfort me and try make me stop crying... Yes i did stop crying but yet I still feel so bad because i have my girlfriend so worry about me. I cannot describe how well is her and the way she treat me. I can say she could be the one of the best girlfriend in my life. She love me so much and wanna come see me to check whether I'm okay. After 2 day outing with her, I feel safe and comfortable beside her... She give me a hug and kiss which is totally give me a lot happiness and safetyness beside her.... =)

Until to day, she tell me something really i care so much. She say " No matter what happen in the future, when she leave me, it doesn't mean she don't love me"... This sentence have give me a lot impact and the pain and hurt have comeback once again. I know she don't want to disobey her mother or family that she must have a christian boyfriend. For me, I will totally respect about that and as i always tell her... Listen to your mother is the first priority because she is your mother. When i listen this sentence, I feel like one day she may leave me because of certain reason. But i won't blame her because she really deserve better... She deserve someone who is Christian, loyal to her, mature, can make her laugh whole day, rich and a lot advantages... She is very nice, charming, cute and loyal to friend and her family. 

If one day, there is one guy which is a dream guy that she dream whole time, her family will support about that... I'm sure I will back off and support her. There is nothing i can do.. As long she is happy, I can sacrifice my love to her.. There is something i learn whole time... " When you love somebody, you don't need to owe her but let other people that can give more happiness to her to owe her"... I understand this sentence very well and when it happen, i definitely will do it even though i have go through all this pain and hurt but its worth if somebody can treat her well and have better background than me. I didn't act like I'm hero or god o what, I just hope that she can get the best and the one who is deserve to owe her.

Dear, i love you so much and i hope u will do the same thing to me... But if i can exchange my loneliness against your happiness... I will take loneliness as u deserve happiness... I don't mind to fail again as I can get through it.. So dear please take care yourself well and be happy everyday, i cannot give you anything as I'm not capable of doing anything anymore. I love you and god bless you <3 

First Kiss

First kiss,
It always is the best gift,
The moment she kiss me,
The moment i realize,
She really do love me,
She really do.



On the 3rd of January,
she kiss me on the mouth,
Cool lips full of emotion,
Cool lips full of surprise,
Cool lips full of love,
This was the day she melt my heart.

The way she treat me,
Is no ordinary girl,
Is no fear,
Is no afraid,
Is just love.

I want and will treat her well,
Not as a payback,
Not as a reward,
Is showing respect,
Is showing right to love someone.

No regret,
No supervision,
No crisis,
No pain,
Is just a sweet memory.

I love her,
More than anything,
she could leave me,
But i won't regret,
Because I wan her to stay beside me longer.

Dear,
I love you,
I like you,
I miss you.

Thank you for your lovely kiss.... <3

The Very First Time (Second Part) XD

23th December ~~ 1st time she cry for me le during "zuo dong"(She cry dao hen chan) =)
25th December ~~ 1st time she kiss me on my face in the car when send her home (So sweet oh the kiss) =)
25th December ~~ 1st time hug her from the back at CF (Shock dao her de) =)
1st January ~~ 1st time we finally in the relationship leh at "Tanjung Aru" XD (Happy 99 lo) =)


Hehe this is second part of this blog... This is the best day of my life as i finally find my love life again. After sometime, she give me hope to gain confident to dating and regain confident to take care a new girl again. I really need to thank her because she is so special and really caught my heart liao. I love her so much la.. Always wana miss her and always wan to kiss her.... <3 XD

Hahaha hope i can always do the best for her and love her liao... Hehe thankss everything for her =)